As a wedding stationer part of my job is to provide to my clients everything they ask for.

Be enthusiastic about their ideas and be non-judgmental about the things they want that I would personally do differently. After all it’s not my wedding!!

So back in the day when “tradition” was kept to and most couples had not yet moved in together a gift list was expected. Whether it be a new toaster, or dinner service the list was out there and people just bought from the list no questions asked.

These days most couples have lived together for a few years, have already started expanding their family and have no need for most household items so a “gift poem” is put into their invites. Most commonly to politely ask for money towards a honeymoon.

“If you were thinking of giving a gift
To help us on our way
A gift of money towards our honeymoon
Would help us on our way”

I read an article last week about a woman who’d been invited to an ex colleagues wedding. She had kindly written a cheque to the happy couple for £100 which in turn the bride emailed her a few days later suggesting she may want to pay more to match what other guests had given and subsequently added her bank details.

Now here’s the question…is It wrong to expect a gift from your guests and then in that expectation politely ask instead of the gift they would prefer money?

I personally didn’t add a gift poem to our invites as we wanted people to feel they could come and enjoy our day and if they bought a gift or left us money then it was appreciated but not necessary…. This in turn caused more harm than good as both sets of parents were being asked regularly what we wanted….

I think the moral of the story is this:

  • Your guests want to celebrate your day and they also want to help contribute to you both starting your new lives as mr and mrs.
  • These days there aren’t any rules and people expect and appreciate that more often than not
  • Money is much more beneficial.
  • If they don’t like it, youll get a nice pair of champagne glasses or a keepsake photo frame.
  • Either way it wont spoil your perfect day…